B-Fest Update No. 1

BEVARE! YOU ARE REEEEEDING B-FEST UPDATE NUMBER VUN!

You guys like the number 8? Is 8 a good number? It’s half of 16 which is 4 squared. It’s the age I was when I got suspended for a day for flipping off the bus driver while wearing a plastic Freddy Kruger glove (true story). If you type 8 into Google you get a bunch of business development sites. It’s the number of hours of sleep you’ll be sacrificing come B-FEST! Oh, and it’s the number of B-Fest Updates I feel like writing this year. So let’s go with it.

WHERE WE ARE – It’s my pleasure to forward this e-mail I received today:

Hey Mike

I got your sponsorship check today. There's still no sign of the first one
- I don't know what could have happened to it. If it comes in, I'll be
sure to shred it.

I'll be submitting your contracts to our advisor on Monday. Because we are
currently on Holiday break, there's a chance the contract won't be ready
until the New Year. Either way, I'll be sure to let you know when I send
it out.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Wyatt

Wyatt, of course, is Wyatt Olstadt, aka Tor of B-Fest.com. He’s been patient, kind and understanding as the first check mysteriously disappeared in the mail and Sarah and I had to pay a $24 fee to cancel the fucking thing. But it’s taken care of, it’s done, the money is in the right hands. We’re sponsoring “Hot Rods to Hell.” Yay us.
To me, that sounds like we’re in like Flynn (which is a phrase popularized by Errol Flynn for his propensity to get into things like trouble, lawsuits and 14-year-old girls, but I digress). That’s two “free” tickets for sponsoring the film and another one reserved, which I will pay for unless either of you two gentleman of letters object.

Here is a list, as I see it, of what we need to do between now and Jan. 25, when we leave at the ass crack of dawn:

-Create an overhead for the Black Hole of Des Moines Appreciation Society
-Settle on a tag line (I like “what happens in the hole stays in the hole...forever!)
-Secure a car. I will be asking my father over the holidays if we can use his, if not we’ll go to plans B, C, and D which don’t yet exist.
-Continue to consume oxygen
-Keep abreast of plans with the rest of the BMMB. I like those guys. And girl. There was a girl in there, right? It wasn’t that big a sausage-fest, right?

Whew. There’s a list. Now here are the things me might consider doing between now and then:
-Create a skit for Hot Rods to Hell
-View Hot Rods to Hell and pre-write apologies if necessary
-Have a big gooey slice of peanut butter pie
-Talk about other skits. We could get ambitious and do something for Plan 9 or Street Trash or whatever. I think it would be fun to prepare a bit this year, but I’m at a disadvantage as I’ve only seen three of the movies on this year’s list.
-Create a list of viewing choices for there and back again.
-Implement the ideas put forth by the Iraq Study Group.

As you can guess, I’m stoked. So let the brains roll, let the synapses fire, let the voice of freedom spread out through this land...THIS IS OUR COUNTRY!!! Oh shit. Sorry.

CLOSING THOUGHT:
B-Fest helps me take my goal of loving high art with a low brow, and just getting rid of that entire “high art” part.