B-Fest Update No. 4
My quick thoughts on the line up:
Firewalker - I don't know how wise it is leading off with Chuck Norris. I'm still lucid at that point and might not be able to separate the somewhat stale "isn't Chuck Norris a bad ass" jokes with the realization that he's actually a bigoted neo con who wants gays to go look on an island. Don't believe me? Read his blog on the National Review. This is the sort of thing I'm going to be thinking about, I don't care how much Lewis Gosset Jr. we're talking about. On the other hand, this is a particularly bad movie if I remember correctly - Norris as Indiana Jones which means it's just Chuck Norris. Color me skeptical.
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man - That's more like it.
Mystery Short 1 - Do I hear monkeys? Monkeys? How about "You Are What You Eat?" A woman looking at all-guy porn? A primer on why not to walk under a ladder? Midgets fighting over a chair? Sonny Bono talking about drugs (a personal favorite of mine). Animals doing animal stuff while I watch while I shake my head and wonder why I'm still watching?
Murder in the Air - Oh yes, it most certainly is.
Raffle - I'm thinking Chad's going to get skunked. Call it a hunch.
The Wizard of Speed and Time - I actually had a dream about being chased by the tri-pod a couple weeks ago.
Plan 9 From Outer Space - OK. Seriously, what else am I going to say?
Scream Blackula Scream - I hear it's dull. I don't much care, I think it looks fun.
Don't Knock the Rock - I might have opened or closed with this one. It's hard to know how excited folks will be for dancing and merriment at 3 a.m. Little Richard in the middle of the night might be enough to send me to the hallway, and I'll be thinking violence if Bill Haley and the Comets play Rock Around the Clock more than once.
Donovan's Brain - I don't know much about this movie, but it's during the traditionally hard time to stay awake for me. I'm interested (unless the Donovan in question is the folk singer or the rather milquetoast actor Tate Donovan), but we'll see if I can slam a Brawndo and make it happen.
The Tingler - There we go. I can't wait for this one as - ghasp - I've never seen it. It sounds fantastic.
Captive Wild Women - Nothing like a good, old fashion contradiction in your title. If you're captive, you can't damn well be wild and vice versa. Come on movie. Then again, the title has me interested.
Mystery Short 2 - Does anyone actually believe this will be the second mystery short? I call at least five other shorts and another showing of The Wizard of Speed and Time before we get to the second scheduled short.
American Ninja 2: The Confrontation - When I say Golan, you say Globus. GOLAN! GOLAN! B-Fest gold each and every time their names appear on the screen and I'm expecting nothing different.
The Terror of Tiny Town - I'm actually kind of torn on this one. Yes, we're having fun and cracking jokes at this terrible movie but isn't this the worst kind of exploitation on display here? Isn't this completely undignif...I'm just kidding. Look! They're little! HAHAHAHAHHAH!
Mystery Short 3 - See Mystery Short 2.
The Incredible Two Headed Transplant - I don't know what's so incredible about it. You take one head, you put it on another head, viola. Now taking a woman's head off after a car accident and keeping it alive, there's something.
Megaforce - SQUEEEEEEL! I can not wait for Megaforce. This one's going to kill and I remember, the good guys always win. Even in the 80s.
Gozilla Versus Megalon - Eh. Go Godzilla.
Onto logistics.
Chad and I are leaving about 1 p.m. on Wednesday, we'll catch some flicks, eat some dinner and make it over to the Campbell household around 9:30, if that's OK with the Campbells. A little Rock Band, a little drinky poo, a little OMG on the Internet and we're off to bed. I say we make it a point to be out the door by 6:30 if we can. That won't be too bad for us day walkers (sorry Plambeck) and we can hit the road.
Speaking of which, I've got a few surprises for the car I'll keep for now. I'm also bringing an Executaine, an elegant traveling case for booze, and a projector.
And, that's it. The hotel is reserved (they sent me confirmation letters and everything), the van is en route and we're set. Be careful out there and I just wanted to say Good Luck, we're all counting on you.
Firewalker - I don't know how wise it is leading off with Chuck Norris. I'm still lucid at that point and might not be able to separate the somewhat stale "isn't Chuck Norris a bad ass" jokes with the realization that he's actually a bigoted neo con who wants gays to go look on an island. Don't believe me? Read his blog on the National Review. This is the sort of thing I'm going to be thinking about, I don't care how much Lewis Gosset Jr. we're talking about. On the other hand, this is a particularly bad movie if I remember correctly - Norris as Indiana Jones which means it's just Chuck Norris. Color me skeptical.
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man - That's more like it.
Mystery Short 1 - Do I hear monkeys? Monkeys? How about "You Are What You Eat?" A woman looking at all-guy porn? A primer on why not to walk under a ladder? Midgets fighting over a chair? Sonny Bono talking about drugs (a personal favorite of mine). Animals doing animal stuff while I watch while I shake my head and wonder why I'm still watching?
Murder in the Air - Oh yes, it most certainly is.
Raffle - I'm thinking Chad's going to get skunked. Call it a hunch.
The Wizard of Speed and Time - I actually had a dream about being chased by the tri-pod a couple weeks ago.
Plan 9 From Outer Space - OK. Seriously, what else am I going to say?
Scream Blackula Scream - I hear it's dull. I don't much care, I think it looks fun.
Don't Knock the Rock - I might have opened or closed with this one. It's hard to know how excited folks will be for dancing and merriment at 3 a.m. Little Richard in the middle of the night might be enough to send me to the hallway, and I'll be thinking violence if Bill Haley and the Comets play Rock Around the Clock more than once.
Donovan's Brain - I don't know much about this movie, but it's during the traditionally hard time to stay awake for me. I'm interested (unless the Donovan in question is the folk singer or the rather milquetoast actor Tate Donovan), but we'll see if I can slam a Brawndo and make it happen.
The Tingler - There we go. I can't wait for this one as - ghasp - I've never seen it. It sounds fantastic.
Captive Wild Women - Nothing like a good, old fashion contradiction in your title. If you're captive, you can't damn well be wild and vice versa. Come on movie. Then again, the title has me interested.
Mystery Short 2 - Does anyone actually believe this will be the second mystery short? I call at least five other shorts and another showing of The Wizard of Speed and Time before we get to the second scheduled short.
American Ninja 2: The Confrontation - When I say Golan, you say Globus. GOLAN! GOLAN! B-Fest gold each and every time their names appear on the screen and I'm expecting nothing different.
The Terror of Tiny Town - I'm actually kind of torn on this one. Yes, we're having fun and cracking jokes at this terrible movie but isn't this the worst kind of exploitation on display here? Isn't this completely undignif...I'm just kidding. Look! They're little! HAHAHAHAHHAH!
Mystery Short 3 - See Mystery Short 2.
The Incredible Two Headed Transplant - I don't know what's so incredible about it. You take one head, you put it on another head, viola. Now taking a woman's head off after a car accident and keeping it alive, there's something.
Megaforce - SQUEEEEEEL! I can not wait for Megaforce. This one's going to kill and I remember, the good guys always win. Even in the 80s.
Gozilla Versus Megalon - Eh. Go Godzilla.
Onto logistics.
Chad and I are leaving about 1 p.m. on Wednesday, we'll catch some flicks, eat some dinner and make it over to the Campbell household around 9:30, if that's OK with the Campbells. A little Rock Band, a little drinky poo, a little OMG on the Internet and we're off to bed. I say we make it a point to be out the door by 6:30 if we can. That won't be too bad for us day walkers (sorry Plambeck) and we can hit the road.
Speaking of which, I've got a few surprises for the car I'll keep for now. I'm also bringing an Executaine, an elegant traveling case for booze, and a projector.
And, that's it. The hotel is reserved (they sent me confirmation letters and everything), the van is en route and we're set. Be careful out there and I just wanted to say Good Luck, we're all counting on you.
posted by Asinine Army at 8:35 AM
1 Comments:
Looking foward to seeing everyone. Fine with the Campbell's on spending the night!
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