Monday, December 03, 2007

B-Fest Update Number 1

Can they top Sean Connery in a wedding dress? Maybe.

Will they? We'll know in about 72 hours if A&O has their shit together.

So preparations begin in earnest for 2008, a mere 45 days away from the time of this post. And by preparation, I mean geekery to rival the collective line waiting to catch a glimpse of Billy West at a comic book convention. Geekery that would embarass Jonah Goldberg. Geekery that if you re-focused it and plugged it into a turbine, could power a medium-sized Midwestern city. Rich, geekery butter. That sort of geekery.

Lets get to it.


First thing's first: Chad, I presume B-Fest money is away to Skip. TELL ME THE MONEY IS AWAY! DAMN YOU PLAMBECK, WE GAVE YOU won't say it. You don't deserve it. God knows it's been a rough year. It's just...never mind. No, I'm not mad. No, I'm fine. I'm not pouting. Listen, I'm not mad, I'm happy, OK? Well, how the hell do you know what I look like when I'm happy? God...just leave it...fine. Fine. OK. Yeah, I love you too.

What's different this year? It's not like we don't have this down. It's not like any surprises lie around the corner. What could possibly warrant preparation so far out? I'll tell you.

DIFFERENCE NO. 1 - I've got my mother-in-law's minivan on hold for the trip, meaning we'll actually have places to put things if we want. There's also a back seat to sleep off Dorito benders, and a fairly decent chance it will get us there and back. Fairly decent. Like, 85 percent. We'll get it looked at.

DIFFERENCE NO. 2 - What we do when we get to Chicago is sort of open-ended, isn't it? We have invites to "Cloverfield" and pancakes on the 18th (I like the pancakes, not so much the J.J. Abrahms, though I like the idea of being on the inside of all the jokes that will undoubtedly come out of it), but I have a suggestion. It's something I'd really like to do on the 17th, but if you guys aren't into it, I understand.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz is filming at the Chase Auditorium in downtown Chicago from 7:30 to 9:30 on the 17th. They haven't announced the line-up yet, but I love that show and would really dig going, and it would still leave that Friday before the fest open. It might be tough to get to the hotel, drop the stuff off and then make it to the Chase Auditorium, but I bet we could meet up with the BMMBers after the show at around 11-ish.

DIFFERENCE NO. 3 - We are NOT sponsoring a movie, but if this year has taught us anything, it's that we don't know how many more whirls we all have on this crazy old B-Fest train, do we? To that end, I propose a skit. I don't know what and I don't know when but I say we make an effort to make the most out of this B-Fest. I'm going to do a few covert things to help my enjoyment of the fest, but I want to be in a skit. That will be easier to figure out after A&O announces the damn line up, but let's be thinking. It doesn't have to be a monkey suit, but some prep would be great.

DIFFERENCE NO. 4 - Is anything else different? Chad, are you getting the hotel and Matt and I are spotting you a tank of gas? Is that still cool? Does anyone else have any special needs, because the BHODMAS is nothing if not accommodating.

Last thing. I like thinking about B-Fest, so here's my B-Fest Update Moment of the...Update...Moment...(crickets chirping)...Number 1

I've been e-mailing some people for a few weeks now about movies in general, and one of them asked me what's the "damnedest thing" I've ever seen on screen. I immediately excluded porn, and told them it had to be a tie between"

-Watching a full-fledged unironic break dance-off erupt at a screening of "Breakin' 2" in 2005 (that's right, isn't it?)
-Watching Alice in Wonderland in a group
-Being lied to by the opening credits of "The Brain That Wouldn't Die"
-All of Mac & Me

The point is I had many more I could throw out there that very few others will ever see or experience. It's a good time and it's time to get ramped up.

Now pardon me, I'm going to go pout in the corner.


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