By now, you've read several anecdotal accounts of people within the Black Hole of Des Moines, and seen recovered documents from those who claim to "appreciate" this most unusual phenomenon. You may have even noticed unusual photographs, and the even more unusual reactions to those photos. But to this point, precious little has been written about the Black Hole Itself. What is it, and why Des Moines? Why does it have these curious effects on otherwise perfectly ordinary people?
The fact is, there are few concrete answers with regards to the Black Hole of Des Moines. It cannot even be said to have a specific location. East-bound travelers have reported experiencing the Black Hole while on the east side of the Iowa city of Des Moines, and have claimed effects lasting as far as Iowa City, and even beyond. West-bound pilgrims, on the other hand, claim that the Black Hole begins at Des Moines, but extends westward, in some cases even as far west as Omaha, Nebraska.
Effects of the Hole are likewise difficult to pinpoint. Reliable observers have noted profound effects on both space and time. In addition to the anecdotal evidence already recounted on this blog, this writer has observed that over an hour of travel in the Black Hole produces a net distance traveled of minus thirty miles. In other words, while seeming to move forward, the vehicle actually moved backwards.
A far less frequent phenomenon, but one just as disturbing, is what has been called the "Fast Forward Effect." Experts, some on the same section of highway where previous records indicate the above negative travel, have experienced this fast forward, wherein distances traveled are far greater than the time would seem to indicate.
While the Hole itself is difficult to pin down, there is one entity within the Hole that is all too readily encountered. Though nameless, and thus far unexplained by any human science, HE WHO WALKS BETWEEN THE ARCHES has terrified countless wanderers within the hole. Those who have encountered this Lovecraftian horror speak about it in hushed tones, if indeed they speak of it at all. Taking the physical appearance of Ronald McDonald, HE WHO WALKS BETWEEN THE ARCHES seems to stand guard over a McDonald's restaurant roughly a mile south of Interstate 80 in Iowa City, Iowa. His visage is menacing, promising eternal damnation to those unable to escape the Black Hole Of Des Moines. Many have turned to offering sacrifice to the towering tree that seems to contain the essence of HE WHO WALKS BETWEEN THE ARCHES, though the effectiveness of such sacrifices--like so much else relating to the Black Hole of Des Moines--has yet to be proven.
One intrepid explorer was able to capture a handful of images of HE WHO WALKS BETWEEN THE ARCHES. Parents and those with weak constitutions should use discretion.









Shortly after sending these photos by email, the photographer disappeared, and, along with the unfortunate soul pictured, has not been heard from again.
Nevertheless, study of the Black Hole of Des Moines will continue, and results reported herein.